Lakeside Girl - Reading Sample

Intro

Under the vast sky, where the play of light and shadow constantly draws changing scenes on the earth, lies a lake. It is no ordinary body of water, but a mirror of the soul, a keeper of secrets, and a silent witness of time. On its tranquil shores, our story unfolds - not just that of a woman, but of every heart seeking its reflection in the depths below.

Anna's life was like the path to this secluded sanctuary - a journey full of twists, light, and shadow. Raised in the embrace of the landscape, her spirit was nourished by the simplicity of nature and the rich dreams promised by the world beyond the horizon. As a child, she looked in wonder at the night sky, her eyes sparkling, her mind filled with questions about the universe and her own place in it.

However, life draws, as is its nature, its own designs, often deviating from the blueprints we create for ourselves. Anna's path led her to the heart of the family business, anchoring her in responsibilities and realities far removed from the adventures she once dreamed of.

Yet, the ember of curiosity never extinguished in her - it was merely waiting for the breath of inspiration to ignite once again. Recently, however, a shadow has fallen over Anna's world. The relentless pressure and silent despair of unfulfilled dreams dampened the vibrancy of her spirit.

The lake, once a mere backdrop for her youthful fantasies, had developed into a refuge, a place where the silence of nature provided a respite from the chaos of her thoughts. In these moments of solitude, accompanied only by the gentle lapping of the water on the shore and the whispering of the wind in the trees, Anna began to listen not only to the sounds of the lake but also to the voice within her. A voice that had long been drowned out by the noise of everyday demands.

So one day, which on the surface was no different from others, Anna found herself back at the lake. But instead of the desired solitude, she found an encounter there that would irrevocably change the course of her journey.

Lakeside Girl - Reading Sample

Chapter 1

There I sat, on a gloomy Friday afternoon, nestled into the cushions of my couch, feeling emotionally trapped in a place I didn't want to be. I was immersed in my thoughts, which trapped me in a relentless loop. Trapped between who I wanted to be and where I found myself.

The last two years felt like a never-ending movie from which I couldn't escape. A deep sense of emptiness had spread within me, leaving me weak and burnt out. The days when I could take pleasure in little things had become rare. But even then, I was mostly alone. Where had the vibrancy and joy that once characterized me gone?

I had withdrawn from life. My life, which seemed to consist only of difficulties: negative people, stress at work, losses, criticism, failure, too much alcohol, and suppressed anger. It was simply too much of everything.

But why couldn't I find a way out? I wondered how it had come to this.

Raised in the tranquility of rural life, far from the hustle and bustle of the city, I loved exploring new paths, talking to different people, and discovering the world with all its cultures. I delved into many topics, from philosophy to technology to economics and politics. My curiosity knew no bounds. This tireless quest for knowledge brought me peace and satisfaction into an otherwise rather simple rural life.

When I took over my parents' business, it was a balancing act between a deeply felt sense of duty and the desire to stay true to my roots. It was not always easy to work with the family, but I thought I had found my way. I got involved in clubs and associations, got politically active, and represented a variety of interest groups. I danced in far too expensive dresses at balls and in the clubs of big cities, enjoyed relaxed weekends in torn jeans on the couch, extended walks with my dog, and the precious time with friends.

Yet something fundamental was missing.

I was still a seeker, torn between what I had and what I aspired to. That became suddenly clear to me then, and I tried to escape the daily grind more and more often. It could have simply been the usual ups and downs of life – relationships that begin and end, people who come and go, a play of success and failure. But suddenly the world stood still, and my life took an unexpected turn.

Two years of pandemic had not only changed the world, but also redrew the map of my life. The pandemic and its consequences pushed me to the limits of what I could bear. Being locked in, confined to the smallest space, was in stark contrast to everything I could endure.

I thought of the moments before the pandemic, when life still seemed full of possibilities.

Even though I was still sweeping up the shards of my failed relationship, I was full of optimism and anticipation for the small house I had just bought. I loved the 100-year-old rubble walls from the start and made renovation plans night after night. Not for a second could I have imagined that a time was coming again that would be marked by deep sadness and despair.

I had made plans, trips, meetings, adventures, all of which were postponed. And then, when everything came to a standstill, I felt my inner world narrowing. The isolation constricted my chest, the silent despair over what could have been weighed heavily on my shoulders.

The days passed by like a murky stream of missed opportunities and lost hopes. I sank deeper into the couch, buried under the weight of my own disappointed expectations. I tried to find comfort in the little things – a book, the gentle steps on a lonely walk, the occasional video calls that felt like an echo of a livelier time. I escaped into the artificial worlds of my computer and was mostly alone.

It seemed like it was just yesterday, the day my mother called me after her partner's accident. She was completely disoriented and the words broke out of her with an expressionless voice: "Anna, the operation went wrong, something went terribly wrong. A splinter has come loose and lodged in the spinal cord. He can't move, I can't see him, these damn rules. What am I going to do?" I remember trying to encourage her. "Hang in there, Mama, I'm with you in spirit, everything will be alright." She was the only one who was allowed to see him once a week for an hour. He had become like a second father to me over the years. It was cruel to be unable to do anything and the thought of being trapped in my own body still haunts me in my dreams.

At the beginning there was still hope that after a second operation and the subsidence of the swellings an improvement would occur. But nothing got better; paralyzed from the 3rd cervical vertebrae. I was not able to think about what that meant. The fight with doctors and nurses, feeling left alone, changed my mother deeply. A tear ran down my cheek as the feelings and fears of that time tried to spread within me.

I had repressed the events and I found no way to process them. I also ignored what the fight for the company had made of me. Because although it still continues to this day, I was hardly able to emotionally deal with it. I had to function. Each of us had to function somehow.

I had already said goodbye to the completion of my little house. The increased costs and unexpectedly necessary renovation measures have long exceeded my budget. Without the help of my family, it was no longer conceivable to manage the work alone.

It was a struggle for existence. Together and yet each for themselves. A time marked by lost dreams, deep despair, unfulfilled hope, and bitter interpersonal disappointments.

It seemed to me as if I had to walk through a deep, dark valley, alone, and yet somehow accompanied by the ghosts of the past and the uncertain hope of a future. It seemed as if the universe had decided to put me to the hardest test. Everything seemed to be falling apart and I felt life slipping away from me.

In these times of isolation and deep personal pain, I only found peace in the silence and seclusion of the lake, which lay in an old quarry, surrounded by the gentle arms of nature, far away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life.

Here, at this lonely place, I saw her for the first time – the girl by the lake, who sent me thoughtfully into my past.

Lakeside Girl - Reading Sample

Chapter 2

"Lost in dreams of better times?"

The sudden voice startled me. I turned around and saw Steve's amused face. He stood in my kitchen, a bottle of wine in his hand, trying to fend off the stormy greeting of my dog, who had already welcomed him in the yard. A laugh escaped me, a stark contrast to the tears I had almost shed seconds before.

Steve possessed an unparalleled ability to put a smile on my face. His mere presence instantly soothed my soul. We had been a couple for many years. I briefly thought back to our breakup. At the time, I sought freedom, wanted to escape the stagnation that had developed between us. We lived together like good friends, but as a couple, we had lost our dynamics. Perhaps it was the age difference or simply the monotony of everyday life that had overwhelmed us. In my mid-30s, I felt energetic and ready to venture into new things, while Steve, twelve years older, preferred the consistency and peace of a regulated life. Nothing new was happening between us, and yet the breakup was painful. He was my best friend, and often I still ask myself today why that was not enough.

We had no contact for a long time, and I missed him during this time, both as a person and as a friend. I was grateful that he came back into my life after the failure of my recent relationship.

I had changed; the lightness had disappeared from my life. I tried to find my way back to what had once defined me, but Steve never judged me. Once again I realized how important he is as an anchor in my life and that he is one of the few people I really trusted.

"Let's not talk about it," I replied with a dismissive gesture, gratefully accepting the distraction. "This week was a total disaster," I admitted as I got up from the couch to get glasses from the kitchen. "Still no money coming in?" he asked while trying to fend off my playful dog. "I thought things were finally getting better."
I filled our glasses with wine and, as often, talked about my business and personal worries, but I didn't want to dwell on the problems for too long.

Steve made himself comfortable on the couch. "Sometimes it seems like the whole world is against you," he said, looking thoughtfully out the window. I nodded, for it really felt that way. Insecurity had become my constant companion. "You know you'll make it, right?" Steve asked me with a confident smile. I joined him, a feeling of contentment in me. "Let's forget the worries for a moment," I suggested, handing him the glass of wine.
It was comforting to know that there was someone who believed in me so much. I leaned back and clinked glasses with him. "To better times," we laughed.

"This week I had a strange encounter at the lake, which made me very thoughtful," I began the narrative of my experience. A story that was so different from anything previously told.

In the countless facets of life, there are moments when the world seems to stand still. Where time takes a breather and creates space for reflection.
It was on one of those days, the kind you'd rather forget, as I set out again. The way to the lake is as familiar to me as the melodies of my childhood, and yet every step felt like a discovery. The trees bent their branches as if to greet me, while the leaves under my feet told a story of change and constancy.

When I reached the shore, the lake spread out before me, a mirror of the world, capturing the clouds and the light of the late afternoon. It is there, in the silence, where I sort out my thoughts, where the questions of life no longer weigh as heavily. But this time something was different. This time I felt a presence, a silence that did not belong to me alone. On the edge of the water, where the waves gently kissed the land, sat a girl. Her gaze was directed at the vastness of the lake. It almost seemed as if she was not only looking at the lake, but through the times, into the soul of the world itself.

Curious, yet hesitant, I approached. "Is this spot free?" my voice broke the silence, gentle, almost cautious. The girl smiled, a smile that radiated warmth and invitation.
"The best places are always free for those who seek," she replied.
"Have we met before?" I asked. She seemed strangely familiar to me, yet I was sure I had never seen her here before. The girl looked up, her eyes sparkled like the lake under the rays of the setting sun and in her eyes lay a depth that I had rarely seen in anyone.
"Perhaps not in this world, but there are places beyond the here and now where souls meet long before they wear faces," she replied with a voice as soothing as the lapping of the water.

The idea in her answer fascinated me. "And what brings you here, to this place of encounters?" I asked, driven by the desire to learn more about this mysterious person.
"This lake," she began as she picked up a pebble and gently let it glide into the water, "is like a mirror of the soul." People come here to find themselves, to ask questions and find answers that only the water can give them. I am here to help those who are searching. "To guide them to find their own way."

"And what if you don't know what you're looking for?" My question was quiet, almost whispering, driven by the insecurity that had been in my heart for a long time.
The girl turned to me, her gaze piercing me as if she could see into the deepest corners of my soul. "Sometimes," she said with a smile, "the true journey begins only when we stop searching." "Perhaps it is not what you are looking for that is important, but what finds you." She paused for a moment.

"There is a Native American wisdom that says," she continued, "Listen attentively to the sounds of nature, to your own thoughts, your inner sensations, to your emotions and reactions to the environment, without violence, with love and reverence, then your mind will open like a flower in the morning."

These words made me thoughtful. It was as if she had cleared the fog that had shrouded my thoughts. In this moment I felt a connection, an invisible thread that tied me to this place, to this girl, and something deep inside me knew that this encounter was no accident.
I sat down next to the girl, my gaze now also directed at the horizon. There, on the edge of my little world, a journey, a discovery began, not only of the lake and its secrets, but also of myself.

Steve grinned and looked at me "I love listening to you. The way you tell stories is so…." He paused: "Fascinatingly beautiful that you want to experience them yourself." He brushed a strand out of my face and asked: "Who is this girl?"
I shrugged and said truthfully "I don't know."
"You didn't ask her who she is?" Steve looked at me in wonder. "No," I answered. "I briefly asked myself this question, but it was only my head that asked this question, she is so strangely familiar to me, it feels as if the moment is coming when I find out." I answered and added "I trust that I will meet her again."

"Yes, that suits you." laughed Steve. "Do you feel like music?"

We spent the rest of the night searching for old records on YouTube and letting ourselves be carried away by the memories of the music. They were these beautiful moments when I could forget everything that weighed on me. When Steve left at dawn, I was tired but satisfied and fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

My last thought was of the encounter at the lake and a reminder to myself that I wanted to find out who this girl was over the weekend.